An Award-Winning Disclaimer

A charming little Magpie whispered this disclaimer into my ear, and I'm happy to regurgitate it into your sweet little mouth:

"Disclaimer: This blog is not responsible for those of you who start to laugh and piss your pants a little. Although this blogger understands the role he has played (in that, if you had not been laughing you may not have pissed yourself), he assumes no liability for damages caused and will not pay your dry cleaning bill.

These views represent the thoughts and opinions of a blogger clearly superior to yourself in every way. If you're in any way offended by any of the content on this blog, it is clearly not the blog for you. Kindly exit the page by clicking on the small 'x' you see at the top right of the screen, and go fuck yourself."

Thursday, November 11, 2010

30 Minutes at Home

What can one do when one has 30 minutes at home? After eight hours of negotioting one's way through a myriad milieu of psych patients, one laughing uproariously as he swings a shit-filled "Attends" diaper over their head like a cowboy might swing a lasso, one crying for no apparent reason, another attempting to pick a fight with two broken arms and a brain full of cobwebs, an hour-long, sunglare-filled commute home (plus a pitstop at Chipotle to bring home bulging burrito dinner for self and goodlady wife), a half-hour in between work and alleged play-- rehearsal for gay operetta that nobody will come to see. A rehearsal that will begin with another car door slam at 5:45pm and one more at 10:45pm (if we don't fuck up that badly).

What does one do?

One blogs.

Hi. I love you.


Oh, and Happy Veteran's Day. Um... there's lots more I'm forgetting. But, today, there's just no time.


Or, as Cathy would say, "AAAAAAAAAACK!"

My swimsuit doesn't fit.

1 comment:

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