I Want to Like Matt Lauer

Seriously, I do.

But sometimes he makes it difficult.

This morning on "TODAY" he was interviewing Adrian Fenty, the mayor of Washington, D.C. following the aftermath of the horrific crash between two commuter subway Red Line trains. The interview was proceeding normally and responsibly until Lauer let out this stinker,

"I understand that [name redacted], the operator of the second train that crashed into the back of the stopped train had very little experience. Do you think this was a contributing factor in the crash?"

Um, yeah-- so... this happened.... yesterday? Calm down, fuzz-head. I was livid. Here's the subtext of what he was saying,

"So, can we please prematurely jump to conclusions and irresponsibly heap blame upon this poor, dead individual and tear their family's hearts out even more than it already is? Pleeeease?"

Fenty, for his part, fortunately was having none of it, and he stoically refused to even entertain that idea until the NTSB is through with their investigation. He also stated, quite intelligently, that "there are lots of drivers with the experience level of this driver who perform excellently-- so that may have been a factor, and it may not have been."

Again... this happened..... yesterday? Chillax, media motherfuckers. The NTSB investigation may very well reveal that the driver of the second train was at fault. If that's the case, then we can tar and feather the driver's corpse through the streets of downtown Washington and burn it in effigy from the steps of the Lincoln Memorial. But, Jesus Christ, Lauer-- they're still pulling bodies from the goddamn wreckage this morning, and you're already gunning for the driver's reputation?

Who the fuck do you think you are anyway? How would you like it if, tomorrow, Natalie Morales turned up pregnant and Diane Sawyer was reporting about it on "Good Morning America" asking her co-host if he thought "Matt Lauer did it?"

Nothing good comes from premature speculation-- that's the true hallmark of a muckraking, scandal-mongering amateur. Admittedly, it's still easier to like you than Ice Queen Viera, but don't keep giving the American viewing public a reason to think you're a shitlick.