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Wednesday, March 25, 2009

More of the Same

People are funny.

They say they want one thing, and then, when they get it, they profess never to have wanted it in the first place.

This unalterably human paradox is now manifesting itself very early on in the presidency of Barack Obama. People who once were rabidly behind him, chomping at the bit for his every word, unmistakably on his jaun are now starting to turn.

Oh, yeah. It's happening.

People are now making the claim that Obama is "not acting Presidential enough."

He's been on late night talk shows. He's giggled on "60 Minutes." He's... black.

He's not like all the other presidents, people are saying.

Well, good for you for noticing!

It's funny because, I thought this man ran, and got overwhelmingly elected on the platform of "Change." I thought we said we were tired of what had come before, and now, here we are, yearning for the consistency and comfort of some old, white fart to bring back the familiarity of yesterday.

The trouble with this country is, we don't want change. We want sameness. Deep in our prejudiced, frightened, conservative hearts, we want some old, white guy in a suit to sit and pose for portraits. We want someone to appear on the $15.00 bill looking like he has an apartment complex stuck up his ass. We want conformity over progress. We want... well...

"I don't want a movie star, I want a president," I heard one Democrat recently complain.

Oh, you mean someone like him?

They say that Obama isn't acting "presidential enough," and I'm not quite sure what that means. What, exactly, does acting "presidential" look like? Does it look like this? Or perhaps it looks something like this. Or like this?

No, no-- it must look like this.

You get my point, I'm sure. You want someone who looks "presidential"? Call up Bea Arthur-- she looks just like George Washington.

I could go on and on (which is my way) but I think my father said it best when he came over for literally three minutes last night to have me sign a birthday card for his sister,

"Fuckin' America retards! 'Oh, Obama-- thank you!' Two weeks later, they already sick of him and want something different. 'Oh, can we have another fuckin' election now?' Fuckin' assholes."

Frankly, I'm not sure this country deserves a leader like him. I think, by and large, we deserve what we get, and we get what we deserve. I think this man is a remarkable, and rare exception, and I hope we don't let it pass by unnoticed or unappreciated because he isn't kissing enough babies or kissing enough ass.


  1. best picture additions EVER! haha.
    Fuckin' retards indeed.

  2. I think about our President every time I use that extra $30 in my paycheck to buy a bottle of vodka. W never got me wasted, yo. Obama rocks.

    Democrats have turned on Obama because it is impossible for them to take any personal or party responsibility for this shit-pile we call an economy. Of course, to be fair, the Republicans aren't blaming anyone, mostly because they are the rich fucks that profited from this whole ordeal.

    Mostly, I think we should overthrow Congress. Bastards.

  3. Liz <-- one of the rich fucks who profited from this whole ordeal.

  4. Liz-- congratulations! In the interest of full disclosure (that's what blogs are all about, right?) while I'm not a "rich fuck who profited from this whole ordeal" I haven't exactly been tanked by it either.

    Of course, that's because I never had any money to put into the stock market, so I never lost anything. Status quo is okay by me.

    Cat-- glad to hear that you're getting shitfaced on Obama's dime. You should write him a thank-you note. Or at least drunk-call the White House.

    Adam-- you're so good to me. You should drunk-call me.

  5. Mr. Apron,
    If I drunk call you I promise to use my bluetooth.


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