Update: So, There's This Thing...

Thanks to fast-acting April (and fast-acting Mylanta), you now have a chance to select My Masonic Apron as the Featured Blog for the Month of April by clicking here.

Remember, you can only vote for me if

1.) you are a member of 20something bloggers.
2.) are a twenty-something.
3.) haven't already voted for some other schmoebert.
4.) have only eaten pickled herring once, and on a dare.
5.) you've never worn neon green colored support hose.
6.) have used the phrase "dickweed" in the last three months.
7.) frequently text while shitting.
8.) impersonate Boris Yeltsin at family dinners.
9.) have never drop-kicked a significant other's pet llama.
10.) favor Doritos over a case of O'Douls and/or pubic lice.

Thanks for voting and please know that the fame and power will absolutely not go to my head, I think you can all rest comfortably assured that it will go straight to my penis.