An Award-Winning Disclaimer

A charming little Magpie whispered this disclaimer into my ear, and I'm happy to regurgitate it into your sweet little mouth:

"Disclaimer: This blog is not responsible for those of you who start to laugh and piss your pants a little. Although this blogger understands the role he has played (in that, if you had not been laughing you may not have pissed yourself), he assumes no liability for damages caused and will not pay your dry cleaning bill.

These views represent the thoughts and opinions of a blogger clearly superior to yourself in every way. If you're in any way offended by any of the content on this blog, it is clearly not the blog for you. Kindly exit the page by clicking on the small 'x' you see at the top right of the screen, and go fuck yourself."

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Update: So, There's This Thing...

Thanks to fast-acting April (and fast-acting Mylanta), you now have a chance to select My Masonic Apron as the Featured Blog for the Month of April by clicking here.

Remember, you can only vote for me if

1.) you are a member of 20something bloggers.
2.) are a twenty-something.
3.) haven't already voted for some other schmoebert.
4.) have only eaten pickled herring once, and on a dare.
5.) you've never worn neon green colored support hose.
6.) have used the phrase "dickweed" in the last three months.
7.) frequently text while shitting.
8.) impersonate Boris Yeltsin at family dinners.
9.) have never drop-kicked a significant other's pet llama.
10.) favor Doritos over a case of O'Douls and/or pubic lice.

Thanks for voting and please know that the fame and power will absolutely not go to my head, I think you can all rest comfortably assured that it will go straight to my penis.


  1. I had to come over to see what all the fuss was about. And I would vote for you simply because you're Jewish. You are, aren't you? Because I am! And fortunately for you, I don't hate other Jews. Only Jews who don't like Seinfeld.

  2. Good luck. I hope you get it. We need a featured blogger with balls.


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