Fundled Faith

Well, those priests are at it again...

My father loves to raise eyebrows with his vulgar commentary on the latest abuse scandal in the Catholic church.

"You know why that John Paul was always walking around bent over, right?"

"No, Dad. Why?"

"Because he always had a little boy under that dress of his, giving him a fundle."

Dad, in that quaint, Israeli way of his, pronounces the word "fundling," but we all know it's pronounced "fondling." And we all know it's disgusting and ickie and gross, but we can't help laughing, especially when he calls it "fundling" or makes reference to "the Catholic tussies."

Of course, there's nothing funny about the report issued today by the commission charged with investigating the systemic sexual, physical and emotional abuses perpetrated by Catholic priests, nuns and other officials at reformatories, schools, workhouses and orphanages from the 1930s to the 1990s in Ireland. For those of you who came here today looking for a laugh-- um, go enjoy the My Masonic Apron archives or a repeat of "Maude."

Tens of thousands of victims. Decades of unmanaged and unprosecuted abuse. Countless lives shattered and needlessly fucked up at the devious and deviant hands of people protected by the sanctimonious untouchability of God's shroud. I know very well that my father knows how to pronounce the word "fondling" and I think his reluctance to call it what it is stems from his very real abhorrence of the deeds-- he'd rather make light of it. For too many years and too many decades, the Catholic Church has also not come clean and called it what it is, but for a very different reason. It's only a crime if you identify it as such. If you conceal, if you lie,if you shift blame, if you apologize for the perpetrator, if you castigate the victim instead of the predator, well, then, you're just letting the molesting machine roll along on its merry little way, aren't you?

Well, God bless.

Religion, like Tylenol, is great if it's used correctly. If it's abused, also like Tylenol, well, then you're in trouble. I very much doubt that there's a Hell, but, if there is, I hope there's an especially hot and fucked up place for those who misuse their religious authority to torture young children.

They like to say that we're all made in God's image, but I don't think so. It's pretty hard to conceive of a God who would make men who are then ordained as His servants who then participate in these thoroughly ungodly acts. Kinda pokes a hole in that cozy little belief structure, doesn't it?

The fact that the Irish government was complicitous in covering up these immensely and powerfully awful deeds is a revolting stain upon that society. This is what happens when faith and government are, for lack of a more tasteful term, in bed together. Then again, seperation of Church and State hasn't done too much to ameliorate clergy scandals in this country.

The report fails to name names of abusers, because of a legal injunction from The Christian Brothers, one of the entities that ran many of the reformatories, whose hands are quite obviously stained with sickness and guilt-- otherwise, why the lawsuit? Without names, there can be no justice. It is impossible for any commission or any government or any church to give back these victims their childhoods, their innocence, or their dignity. The very least they deserve and are entitled to is justice.

I doubt they'll get it, though. After all, they're no children of God, right? They're just sons and daughters of the workhouse-- bastards and whores all.

People use religion for a lot of nefarious activities. Some people use it to sell you shit you don't need: like icons of Mary to nail up all over your house, or gold stars of David to wear around your neck. Some people use it to shame you for simply being human and making life's little mistakes that we're all supposed to make. Some people use it to compel you to behave, to walk the straight and narrow, to scare you shitless so you don't speak up or speak out. And some use it so they can fuck trembling, fearful young boys in the rectory when nobody's looking, and be certain of their victims' silence. After all, Hell awaits and, if that's not frightening enough, there's always the Hell on earth that comes as part and parcel of being a victim of rape, abuse and torture.

The Jews believe that God is there and that God sees everything, but I'm not so sure. If He is there, and if He does see everything, then I don't think He deserves that capitalization after all.