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Thursday, April 30, 2009

The Wrong Trousers, Gromit

Apparently, this is news:



Because I use Yahoo for my email service (don't try to find me, you creepy stalker peoples) I get to be constantly regaled and frustrated by what passes for Yahoo "News" in the form of six so-called "Top Stories" that are presented to me before I am able to read my email. Very recently, at least three of the six headlines are mandated to contain the words "flu" and "swine," but there's still room for a little variety and creativity, I'm pleased to report.

Yesterday, one of the headlines, in fact, the FEATURED headline was not about the latest intercontinental influenza or the now certain demise of Chrysler Corporation, but the above-pictured schmuck's trousers.
I stared at the headline for a moment or two in utter disbelief.

"John Daly's Horrifying New Golf Pants Are Visible from Orbit."

I mean-- you're kidding me, right?

That this "story" is presented as "news" is the first insult to our humanity, intellect and status as supposed life forms of superior intelligence. Superior to the intelligence of whom, may I ask? News editors? I guess so. The writer of the piece did not even include a Google Earth picture as evidence to support their contention that Daly's pants are discernable from those of the rest of us from the stratosphere.

The piece, which is only 150 words long, tipped the moron-meter by receiving 2,312 comments in less than 24 hours.

Are you sure the superior intelligence designation doesn't give you even a moment's pause?

Here's the thing, I don't have any problem with the occasional "fluff" piece. Hey, sometimes we need a break from mass hysteria, hype and phillandering politicos, but some d-bag running around golf greens swathed in gaily-colored, socially unfit or otherwise dubious attire isn't fluff, or news. People have been doing that for centuries. Don't believe me?

Check these vintage mothas out out, puttin' it old school:

This one's Japanese, but still...



Then there's this guy. Oy vey. Payne-ful.


This one must have been from a tournament scheduled on Halloween. But, aren't they all?


Seriously, though-- golf has eternally been a haven for those with questionable and eccentric wardrobe leanings, so I don't know who this John Daly thinks he's kidding by pretending to be some great innovator by wearing clothes whose colors would barely be appropriate adorning the walls of a 5 year-old girl's My Little Pony-themed bedroom. If you ask me, the way to be different and anathema to the norm on the putting green is to show up in a white shirt and dark pants, you know-- like a normal person.
Now that would be different and, quite possibly, news.

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