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Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Thnx 4 Reading

Wht th hll s "thnx?"

I'm sorry, ladies and gentlemen, but we Western society humans type beings like our words with the occasional vowel ensconsed somewhere in there, even if it dies of loneliness. If I get one more email from someone "thnxng" me for something, I think I'm going to key that non-word into my own face.

Don't get me wrong-- I like to be thanked, and I personally would even go so far as to say that I'm not thanked enough, but to be told "thnxs!" in an email is more of a slap on the titty than a genuine display of gratitude in my opinion.

Do I sound like a curmudgeonly, crinkly codger?


I don't want to be accused of being a sexist curmudgeonly, crinkly codger, but I've noticed, in my anecdotal way, that females are big offenders of the "thnx!" email sign off. I don't know what that is. Is there some sort of hormonal imbalance I'm not aware of that makes it uncomfortable for women of a certain vicissitude to utilize vowels and correct spelling? I was watching an episode of "COPS" where a young female suspect who was being arrested for aggravated battery on her boyfriend shouted, "You know how I am when I'm on my period!" to the arresting officers, her parents, and the rest of middle America. I think it's funny when women blame their periods for their irrational behavior.

Is that why women write "thnxs!" to me? Because they're menstruating? I kind of doubt it.

I could sit here and postulate until my bloggity little fingers fell off, trying to figure this one out. I could blame email culture and texting culture and overall declination of culture, the fact that handwriting is de-emphasized in school, the fact that nuns are no longer permitted to break the tender, pale, freckled knuckles of our nation's Catholic schoolchildren. I could blame Hitler, or the sodding cat, or The Steve Wilkos Show or the Chinese, but I don't really know what good that would do.

It's weird, because I like blaming people as much as anybody, I suppose. Remember that story about taking the axe to our basement wall when I was a kid, and I blamed my sister? I just don't feel like blaming anybody right now-- I guess my heart's just not in it.

I understand sometimes that people are in a hurry, and that writing detailed, long-winded, rhapsodic and prosaic emails just doesn't fit into everyone's PDA calendar, but, Jesus, people, "thank you" is just a little too important. We've truncated "Hello" to "Hi," and that's bad enough. When you thank someone, you're acknowledging that they've done something helpful for you, they've done you a motherfucking solid. Sure, they haven't chiseled your ugly mug on Mt. Rushmore or hand-built you a tool shed replica of the Taj Mahal in your back-yard, but they saved your ass on a PowerPoint presentation, or they made a phone call when you couldn't or they said they'd research what dishwasher performed the best on and, Goddamnit, that deserves more than a trite, obnoxious, curt little "thnxs!"

In my book, a thank you is a pretty big deal. I like it when people say "thank you" and I'm pretty anal about remembering to say it myself. I know people don't have to do me favors or help me out or pay me a compliment, so, when they do, while I don't bust out a pinata and noisemakers, I make sure to look them in the eye and say "thank you" in a way that communicates to them that I mean it. That's hard to do in an email, but "thnxs!" is a sure-fire way to let someone know that you don't really give much of a damn about what they did for you, or about thank you's in general. I mean, it's about gratitude, people, and, if you're thankful, then express it properly.


G fck yrslf!


  1. I agree completely. It's time to stop butchering our communication for the sake of brevity. Why do women do this more than men? Who the hell knows. I've never done it, and I never will, especially now that you've enabled me to feel intellectually and socially superior when I don't. ;)

  2. lol@ verybadcat.
    I also agree! I also have to say fuck off to the people that say no problem WHEN I SAY thank you. Can SOMEONE please just say your welcome or NO, thank you! That bugs me so much you have no idea! I want to say "Oh were you anticipating a problem when you poured my coffee? Why dont you just say Whew disaster averted instead?" It would be a little bit entertaining at least. But I dont say anything because usually the person is smiling at me and I would look like the big goof.. Whew that felt good to get off my chest! Thank You. ( i so wanted to type thnx.. ) bleh!

  3. I used to belong to a community called Diary-X, where "txt spk" was actively discouraged and merchandise could be bought bearing the legend "U is not a word". The same should be said for "Thnx". Although, of course, in the UK it would be perfectly acceptable in a colloquial setting to end a casual email with the even-more truncated "Ta!".

    I must confess, I have used "Thnx" before, but only in text messages, and then it was in a sarcastic "kthnxbye".

    And I didn't inhale.

  4. we're lazy mofo's! is mofo allowed over here?

  5. Absolutely. My followers can pretty much do whatevs. Nyah mean?

  6. I have to say, I have not encountered a "thnx" since about 8th grade...

    which leads me to ask - with whom are you corresponding via email? Are you a junior high school teacher?

    For Heaven's sake, I hope they are at least personal emails - if not, my fear of what lies ahead for America shall increase exponentially.


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