An Award-Winning Disclaimer

A charming little Magpie whispered this disclaimer into my ear, and I'm happy to regurgitate it into your sweet little mouth:

"Disclaimer: This blog is not responsible for those of you who start to laugh and piss your pants a little. Although this blogger understands the role he has played (in that, if you had not been laughing you may not have pissed yourself), he assumes no liability for damages caused and will not pay your dry cleaning bill.

These views represent the thoughts and opinions of a blogger clearly superior to yourself in every way. If you're in any way offended by any of the content on this blog, it is clearly not the blog for you. Kindly exit the page by clicking on the small 'x' you see at the top right of the screen, and go fuck yourself."

Friday, August 28, 2009

Going Buh-Byes in the Car

In just under 20 minutes, I hope to have successfully bundled my wife, my dog, and several tons of bags, clothing, toiletries and other assorted items (including my 1930s style Boater hat and some light vacation reading about explorers perishing during their ill-fated quest for the Northwest Passage) into my wife's Revolution Orange Metallic Honda Fit for our trek up north.

They tell you to never post on Facebook or a blog that you're going away on vacation, but I have reasonable amounts of faith that a contingent of my female, Canadian readers aren't going to break into my house and steal my collection of antique typewriters while we're away.

Speaking of "while we're away" you might be wondering, "Well, what the fuck?! What about us?!!!"

Well, dah-links, I had the best intentions of banging out a week's worth of blogs today while I was at work and setting them to auto-display at 8:23am each day we're away, but I could only manage one, which will go up tomorrow at the aforementioned time. If something very blogworthy happens, perhaps I'll risk arthritis of the thumbs and post a quick entry from my Treo, but I doubt it. Blogging from a five-year-old handheld device is exhausting. You practically go blind while doing it and, two hours later, you've written the equivalent of 3/4ths of an 8.5x11 sheet of paper.

Not very rewarding for blogger or blogeee.

Before I depart, I should just like to point out that I received a friend request via PoliceLink, a social networking site for police officers and law enforcement advocates/afficianados like myself. The subject header of the email read,

"Jim Bigguns wants to be your friend."

Am I a lucky sonofabitch or what?

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