An Award-Winning Disclaimer

A charming little Magpie whispered this disclaimer into my ear, and I'm happy to regurgitate it into your sweet little mouth:

"Disclaimer: This blog is not responsible for those of you who start to laugh and piss your pants a little. Although this blogger understands the role he has played (in that, if you had not been laughing you may not have pissed yourself), he assumes no liability for damages caused and will not pay your dry cleaning bill.

These views represent the thoughts and opinions of a blogger clearly superior to yourself in every way. If you're in any way offended by any of the content on this blog, it is clearly not the blog for you. Kindly exit the page by clicking on the small 'x' you see at the top right of the screen, and go fuck yourself."

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

My Wife, The Sell-Out

My wife is a lot of things.

She's small, and she's cute. She's funny and intelligent and she wears clothes with lots of fun colors. She pulls it off. She looks great in vintage glasses, too-- not like the chicks who are trying too hard with that shit.

Now, my wife is one more thing: she's a SELL-OUT!

But, um, not in the bad way. And not in the whorey way either. Although that'd be hot. Kind of.

She's selling her crafty wares on her blog-- and not just any crafty wares, she's selling hand-made, customizable I-Spy bags.

Don't know what an I-Spy bag is? Well, quit sitting there looking goddamn stupid-- hop on over to her website and find the fuck out, you crazy donkey, you!

Come on, if you're American, you love to buy stuff, so why not buy an I-Spy bag? Canadians like to buy stuff, too, right? Just not guns. Anyway, the I-Spy bag is definitely stuff, and it's definitely not a gun. It's the perfect gift for a child, especially one who won't shut the hell up on a long car ride. They're great for adults of normal intelligence, or anywhere on either side of normal. Just ask me. I'm livin' proof, Cletus!

I know, I know-- you didn't expect such shameless promotion on my blog-- I who shun pictures and advertisers and consumerism... but, hey, this is my wife we're talking about. And we have a goddamn mortgage payment to make, too.

So, scurry your little self on over to my wife's blog and plunk down some cash for a super-cool, hand-crafted I-Spy bag. I'll give you a big kiss on your tuchus if you do.

If you cover your ass in Saran-Wrap, that is.

1 comment:

  1. I don't visit blogs where I'm not on the blogroll.


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