At the Risk of Being Referential

I'm waiting.

I'm waiting for them to call.

Not me.  Them.

I'm waiting for them to call, um, them.

They're going to call them.

At least, I think they're going to call them.

Hopefully, they'll call them.

God, please don't call them.

Wait.  Wait.  Wait.

I am waiting.  For them.

They're going to call them, I know they are.  They said they'd call.

Why haven't they called them yet?

I'd know if they called them.  They'd tell me.

Well, they wouldn't tell me.  But they would.

(Obviously.)

What will they say when they're called?

Dependable.

Reliable.

Polite.

Diligent.

Funny.

Sarcastic?

Negative.

Worrisome.

Dedicated, though.

Honest.  To a fault.

Cynical.

But always early.

He's always early.

He's overcompensating, but he's still early.

It looks good on paper.

On the time-clock.

On the swipe-card.

Dresses well.

Hair is combed like it's 1964.

Glasses, too.  Same vintage.  Same deal.

He wants to stand out, yet he wants to hide in the corner.

Hide in the dark.

Head down, writing notes.

Writing writing writing.  He's always writing.

What's he writing, anyway?

He can smalltalk.  It looks as though it's killing him, but he does it.

He has things to do.

Walks briskly.

Eats his lunch in private.

He's private.

He'll tell you anything-- if you ask.

If you don't.

A renaissance man.  Knows a little about a lot.

Or is it a lot about a little.

You won't have to write another letter again-- he'll do it.

He can find your voice.

Steal your voice.

He can do it.

No math.  He was told there'd be no math.

No skills, lots of personality.

Neuroses.

Idiosyncratic.

Charming.

Poor eye-contact.

Disorganized.

Chaotic.

Bright affect.

Once he's comfortable, you'll want to fire him every day.

But you find you can't.

Thorny.

Seductive.

Hard-working.

Do-nothing.

Go-getter.

Farts quietly.

He's bringing back the necktie.

You'll love the one with all the carrots and one white rabbit.

He's going to eat all the carrots, you know.

He'll tell you so.

Just ask his references-- they'll tell you, too.